Where I’ve Been

I haven’t felt like writing. It’s that simple. And that complicated.

It sucks, I know. Going so long without being able to compose thoughts into words that people can feel. Really, it’s not even about other people. It’s mostly about myself. But, truth be told, people have been tough lately. The reality of people has been tough lately.

I started a post about a month or so ago about the life lessons I’ve learned from being unfriended. As I started writing, I realized I didn’t care enough. Bitches love to be offended. It is what it is.

Then I thought to write about the harsh realities of being a black woman in tech. How people who don’t look like me will have a lot more privileges and advantages than I will. Then I realized, I don’t care enough. Everything happens for a good reason. And I control my destiny. It is what it is.

I’ve always taken pride in being a real person. The last year has solidified what that means to me. I know my values. Work hard. Be grateful. Don’t make excuses. And get shit done. All the usual stuff – kindness, loyalty, respect, integrity, honesty, accountability – are included in there too. But these things sum it all up.

Work hard. If you work hard, if you truly do your best at everything that comes your way, you will get ahead. This is an indisputable truth, although people will argue it. No one will believe in you like you will. No one will believe you like you will. Only you know your ability, only you know your direction, and only you know your heart. If you need credit or validation from others to let you know your best is good enough, then you will never know the true value of hard work. Your personal best is just that: personal. And your best is always – always! – good enough.

Be grateful. Gratitude is all we have in our effort to turn the universe in our favor. It’s been said, by Oprah I think, that the more grateful you are, the more present you become. The value of presence and peace of mind is immeasurable. With it, you quickly see how the abundance of the world just opens up to you. And then, once you see that, your every day actions will be transformed. How you express your gratitude, be it in daily prayer or meditation or in Boys & Girls Clubs every week, is your message to the creator that you get it. Gratitude is perspective. Gratitude is humility. Gratitude makes every seemingly impossible thing in our lives a possibility.

Don’t make excuses. There is nothing worse than someone who will not take responsibility for their actions or behavior. And there are few things that get under my skin more. What you do, what you think, the mistakes you make, and the successes you have belong to none other than yourself. Own that shit. Own every single bit of it. Don’t wait for others to give you an out. Don’t blame others for things that go wrong in your life. Take every opportunity to call yourself out, learn, and improve. There’s nothing wrong with screwing up. But there’s plenty wrong with lacking accountability. If you’re always right, then something’s wrong.

Get shit done. What’s more satisfying than getting shit done? Really, think about it. What’s really more satisfying? Anything from laundry to creating an infographic on time can be seriously euphoric. The secret, I’ve learned, is to focus your energy entirely on the task at hand. This means minding your own business, committing to results, and not letting anything or anyone stop you from reaching your goals. A person who gets shit done is reliable. You can count on them. And if that person is you, then you can count on yourself. If confidence is built on previous successes, than it’s in your best interest to get shit done, right? Focus. You got this.

So that’s it. That’s where I’ve been. Working hard, being grateful, not making excuses, and getting shit done. I may disappear again. (It’s actually been really helpful.) But I love having this blog. I love everyone who shares this journey with me. I’m constantly encouraged by the comments made here and by the messages sent to me – always right on time, I might add – by my friends and family.

I’ll keep writing. Writing makes me happy. But on my terms and when I want to. I appreciate you sticking with me.


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