Reality Check

I was in a funk last week. Super productive at work, but super irritable everywhere else. So even though I had plenty on my mind to write, I procrastinated a bit. But it was probably for the best, all things considered.

Anyway, I’m back! And feeling much better. Can’t let a little mood swing keep me down!

So, there’s been a lot of talk about truth these days. (I’ve already written my fair share about it since I’ve returned to this blog.) And since solidifying my truth was such a huge part of my growth in recent years, I take a lot of pride in knowing who I am, being honest, and keeping it real.

But lately, I find myself increasingly annoyed when I perceive that others aren’t doing the same. In just the last couple weeks alone, I’ve witnessed blatant attention seeking, shameless fabrication, and seeming delusion. What’s with these people? Why can’t they just live in their truth?

Ouch. How condescending of me, right? I mean, who am I to tell people that their truth is a lie? Sure, I may feel that way, admittedly. But how can I be so sure seeing things from my perspective alone?

As someone who is working to see wholeness in all people, this just doesn’t seem right. Looks like I’m the one in need of a reality check… 

So I thought back on my days of discovering my truth, and I remembered just how inescapable reality is. When our truth is incompatible with reality, it’s only a matter of time before reality catches up with us. And from my experience, once reality finds you, it’s immediately… uncomfortable. But then it becomes less so, until it’s finally a solid piece of your true existence. Ego takes a back seat, all feelings of entitlement are lost, and you stand strong without defending or apologizing for exactly who you are.

But that’s quite a bit. And everyone gets there in their own time, and in their own way. So knowing this, I wonder: how we can be more compassionate and empathetic towards those who appear to struggle with deceit? 

These people aren’t the only ones who’ve been out of alignment with reality, are they? Maybe you have this friend who just wasn’t ready to face reality in a certain situation; or maybe the truth was just way to hard to bear. Whatever the case may be, we can’t forget that we shape our realities, and it’s not our jobs to be anything other than our best selves. So by being dishonest, forceful, defensive, or even condescending, we’re moving further away from our own alignment with reality, which in a way, makes us no different than those we’re so bothered by.

So, in the spirit of growing into our best selves, let’s practice more encouragement without superiority. Let’s remember to keep our expectations in check and our perspectives clear. We can’t force people to live a life any different from what they’re already living just because we want them to. And, likewise, we should never be in the business of using our own truth to justify wrongdoings. Each of us are here to be the best we can be – not critics, not mean girls, and especially not enemies.

Let’s try to encourage those who need it the most as early and as often as we can. We don’t know all stories or circumstances, but through awareness, we know what we can do to help – even if it’s just working more diligently on ourselves.

Be kind, all.


2 thoughts on “Reality Check

  1. Yes this definitely resonates with me this year. Although I had to end up walking away from this friendship, because I knew this person was unwilling to see their own reality and it was not good for me to stick around. I had to constantly check myself about judging this person after the fact and just accept things as they have played out.

    • I completely understand. It’s so hard to fight the feeling of wanting to “fix” people! That’s why wholeness is so important. It’s a great reminder that we’re all much more than just the good and bad we do. Not everyone is meant to stay in our lives – and, likewise, we’re not obligated to stay in anyone else’s – but that doesn’t make either party the “bad guy.” We’re just human. So acceptance, hard as it is, is truly the key to peace and detachment. Thanks for your comment!

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